It's like Lapsang Souchong - with alcohol!
Or: oh, so Scotch is awesome.
My first attempt at scotch (inspired by Art of Manliness) was a bottle of Glenfiddich 12-year. While certainly not distasteful (I did finish it, after all), it lacked the one thing that people mention whenever you say "scotch" - smokiness! If anything, it had an intense pear overtone that subsided as I worked my way through the bottle. Wharrgarbl, indeed. I suppose switching to Laphroaig would be like complaining about the lack of strong flavors in Trumer Pils and trying Arrogant Bastard instead.