Baltika - based in Leningrad, the employees cut a deal with Carlsberg after they had to change their company letterhead. As part of the Danish Beer Borg, they fill the "ass-kicking Imperial Stout" niche in their lineup. It's dry as fuck, and by dry I mean actual overtones of ethyl, like one would get from the hard stuff. As stouts go, it's not well-behaved, but damn if it isn't rich, malty, and delicious.
Zywiec Porter - as discussed previously. I now realize it falls firmly in the Imperial realm of Stout.
Samuel Smith's Taddy Porter - we picked it because it had a cool, old-school label. I now realize that the best way to pick beers is by how cool and old-school the label looks. It's creamy, buttery, and rolls right off the tongue. Lots of body, but a clean finish. Not a hint of alcohol or hops, making it a good beer for people who don't like beer.
Guinness - The Irish have a talent for importing bulk Nigerian mediocrity, cooking it into wort, letting it ferment in kettles, and then storing it large casks before bottling it and shipping it across the globe. I suppose this'd explain all those times in college where I asked for beer, nay pilsner explicity, during an alcohol run (hey, I was 19 at the time) and the only thing that ever came back was Guinness. Guinness and enough Bailey's to stun a small horse. Sometimes you have to do it yourself if you want it done right...